75 Ways To Order a Pizza

This guy at the Conservative Legion wrote an absolutely hilarious post about 75 different ways to order a pizza. I haven't laughed out loud this many times since I read Come and Get It At Ponderosa. I listed some of my favorites below.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond.

31. Ask to see a menu.

45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."