Homeless Guy

For today's post I've got a guest writer. Yes, Luke is here with a story about the streets of Cleveland and his favorite homeless guy that is guaranteed to make you laugh. I think the only real background that you need is that Luke absolutely hates Miami University (of Ohio) and THE Ohio State University. Oh, and I guess that Luke really thinks of himself as at least pseudo-religious and he tends to like things that are about religion . . . I'm sure he'll comment and correct me if any of this sounds wrong . . . Anyways, here is his latest crazy musing, which made me laugh out loud at least twice when he emailed it to me.

The other day I got this camo & blaze orange hat as a "bonus" from a guy who I bought my new PW and 9-iron from on eBay. Since I walk by beggars on the streets of Cleveland on my way to the office each day I thought maybe I should give the hat to my "favorite bum" that I refer to as "FB." For some time now I have referred to this gentleman as "FB" when telling my wife, in-laws or family about my days. Since my wife and I live in the middle of the country and I drive over 60 miles to work in a large city each day, my work experience is much different than anything my wife has ever experienced on a regular basis in her life.

Back to "FB." Why would I refer to a random beggar as my Favorite Bum? Well maybe it is because every day when I pass this guy on the corner of East 9th Street and Euclid Ave. each day as he proclaims "You ladies and gentlemen have a nice day. God be with you." I generally have a soft spot for religious people (that's why I hate Brad), and even if he just says it so people will give him money (which is likely the case) there's a soft spot in my heart for the religious comment nonetheless.

On a few occasions I have wanted to buy him thermal socks or a jacket or a skull cap to keep him warm, but I have never really gotten up the motivation to spend money on "FB." So while I thought about giving him my "bonus" hat that I know I will never wear, I thought about the fact that he may wear the hat all of the time and think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. To get a free hat from one of the "Big Shot City Workers" (which I am not!) may be a big deal to this poor guy. So I thought to myself, why not use this as a marketing opportunity if I am gonna give him something? I mean hundreds of people pass this guy each day as he proclaims his little "God be with you!" line. Why not take advantage of it all? I can give him something and get something in return! You can see that working in marketing for the past 4 years has really gotten to me!

Suddenly a better idea comes into my head. Why not use this opportunity to do some reverse-marketing. There are many things that piss me off or annoy me so why not bash one of them. Now my decision is this; should I buy a Miami University Alumni hat or a Ohio State University Alumni hat for "FB?" I mean a homeless bum begging for money in an Ohio State Alumni hat... How funny would that be?